Friday, February 11, 2011

Looks Like Marvel Comics is Hitting and Missing This Week

Like most Marvel Comics Fans, I was excited and kinda impatient for the new Marvel Films teasers during the Superbowl.  First off, make no mistake; I am eagerly awaiting the release of Thor.  I’m a huge fan of Kenneth Branagh, and firmly believe he will bring an interesting and honest film to us that is still embroiled in its comic book history and roots.  I was just very disappointed at the marketing department and their decision to give us this teaser last weekend:

Next up is Captain America.  Cap has been and probably will always be my personal comic book hero.  (Ok, probably a tie for number one with Hal Jordan)  That said, I don’t know how to feel about the first look that was also presented to us last weekend.  It looks very authentic, but I really want to see Hugo Weaving’s face as The Red Skull.  Please Marvel Films, please satiate my hunger and show me what the personification of evil and power looks like!!!!!

And then there was this morning.  I was completely overwhelmed when I saw that the first look at X-Men: First Class was available.  This is what I have been looking for in super hero film over the last couple of years.  Oh sure, it’s a prequel, but bare with it.  The actors seem focused, the budget looks fantastic, special effects are guaranteed to astound, and the best part……. Bryan Singer returns home to the X-Men family.  Finally, something that might actually make me forget that X-Men 3 ever happened!

So that was the good.  And with all good, there has to be a down side.
The Fantastic Four. 
Marvel’s First Family.
Jonathan Hickman, why did you have to screw it all up?
To be honest, I was rooting for you.  I was completely digging your writing from the first issue you took the reigns on.  A beautiful teamup of writer and illustrator.  You and Steve Epting working together is the comic book equivalent of a well oiled machine.
And then there was issue #587. 
Who’s idea was it anyway?  Jonathan, please tell me it wasn’t yours.  In this day and age of the new face of Marvel Comics, why do you guys still feel the need to kill off major characters for no obvious reason?  Seriously, was it necessary to kill Johnny Storm, a.k.a. The Human Torch?  I read the issue.  I have only one real response to it.  When you were doing your best impression of being a writing “hack”, which were you trying to do more:
1.       Rip off the ending of the film Armageddon?
2.       Rip off the ending of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan?
Neither answer is acceptable.  As a matter of fact, none of it should have happened at all.  Franklin Richards had his reality powers back and functioning.  Why couldn't he have just blinked his eyes and make everything go away?  Ok, so I get that sales are probably slipping, which is the only logical reason I can come up with as to why you would murder a major character.  I can even understand the decision of replacing him with Spider-Man.  Sure, everyone loves and admires “The House of One or Two Ideas’” famous wall-crawler, but did you have to do this:


What the hell did you do to the costumes?  They look like Anti-Venom and a Storm Trooper decided to have romantic relations, then Anti-Venom got pregnant, so the Storm Trooper had to punch Anti-Venom in the stomach and throw him down a flight stairs forcing a miscarriage, then they flushed the abomination down the toilet.  That little bloody white and black clot is exactly what I’m equating these new suits to.

I’m sorry……I shouldn’t be allowed to go on anymore.  My meds are kicking in and I have to decide which is going to happen first.  Either I slit my wrists, or read The Future Foundation #1 and find out what life without Johnny Storm is like.


  1. Hey, Lord Dim-witty, that's not the Fantastic Four, It's the Future Foundation! Of course they're gonna change the costumes! If they kept the old style FF uniforms, they'd be tarnishing everyone's memory of the good old days with Johnny. Instead, they opt for costumes that foreshadow things to come. They create costumes that literally SCREAM "This Isn't going to last a year!" I say "well done, Marvel. Well Done."

  2. Pete, you ignorant slut! The old style FF suits still stayed around during the years that the Thing and other members would take a hiatus. Ummm, anyone remember She-Hulk and She-Thing? Costumes didn't change and everything was still hunk-dorey with Marvel's First Family. But at least one you said made sense, this really can't last more than a year.